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How To Change Yourself Once You Know What You Want To Change



I'm sure you are familiar with the phrase every day's a school day. At least, it should be. If you're living right. You aren't supposed to stop developing as a person. As long as you live you should be striving to become more knowledgeable.

But what happens when you have spent months, even years, growing in the wrong direction? You have reached a point where growth has slowed and as you look back on your journey thus far you realize you took a wrong turn. You don't like what you've grown into and you don't like the path you took and you want to change. What then?

Well, you change. Just like a plant, with a bit of pruning, you can learn how to grow in the right direction. You cannot change yourself, however, until you know what you want to change. Step one is understanding the parts of your life that you're unhappy with and knowing what you would like to improve.

Progress is reinvention. This isn't about reaching a point, holding your fist high, and saying you won. This isn't about winning or reaching the end of a path. It's a continuous journey that will not end until you leave this mortal coil.

  • Outside In

If you were to sculpt a piece you would constantly watch as your art took shape. You would consider how many different ways to shape it and take steps to change tact if it's going the wrong direction. It's just natural. That is how you need to look at yourself.


You are a constant work in progress, but a work of art waiting to be uncovered. You don't have to beat yourself up about the things you don't like. You just need to get to work. First, however, you have to look at yourself from the outside to find what you want to change.


  • Difficult Habits

Typically, the parts of ourselves we want to change revolve around habits. To make the change you have to know what habit triggers the behavior you dislike. So, if you know you're overweight and that's what you want to change, you have to look at the habits that got you to that point in the first place. Change your habits to eradicate the problem trait you want rid of.

  • Practice

Change requires consistency, so once you identify what you want to change you have to keep at it in order to achieve change.

  • Realistic Goals

You won't wake up tomorrow morning and suddenly find extra patience. So, when you do identify what you'd like to change you have to set realistic goals around nixing the problem. You can't demand more of yourself than you can deliver.

  • Mirror, Mirror On the Wall

Self-reflection is a key aspect of recognizing what you want to change. You cannot avoid it. I encourage you to reflect often, which will allow you to make corrections to your course if necessary.

  • Truth-Tellers

You need a strong support network, but you need people around you who are willing to be open and honest with you. If everyone always backs you up and tells you yes, then you're not going to grow very far in the right direction.

  • Take Risks

If you want to become the person you truly want to be, then it begins by not being the person you currently are. The only way out of it is to step out of the comfort zone and walk through difficulty. That requires risk and if you aren't prepared to take a risk into the unknown, then you will always be where you are now which is not where you want to be forever.


The process of changing yourself and reinventing who you are is a process. This isn't a quick fix, there isn't an overnight solution. It's a daily practice, one that requires intention.

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