Introspection 101
The word introspection means something simple but is something exceedingly difficult. If you look up introspection in the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy states that it is, “a means of learning about one’s own ongoing, or perhaps recently past, mental states or processes.”
Looking at yourself, from a mental and emotional standpoint, and your actions in a mirror and analyzing them can be difficult and scary. Because of issues like your own biases, along with the almost vague nature of the word, this can become a burdensome task. But well worth it, as without introspection we can never have personal growth. Introspection and self-reflection lead to self-awareness and self-understanding and those to lead to personal development, so should you choose to work on yourself following self-discovery.
I believe that introspection is a process that leads to an intuitive understanding of ourselves or greater insight into your life or mental state. At the University of Sydney, a psychologist Anthony M. Grant discovered that people who displayed greater personal insight “enjoy stronger relationships, a clearer sense of purpose and greater well-being, self-acceptance, and happiness.”
Along with his findings, another study showed that “people high in insight feel more in control of their lives, show more dramatic personal growth, enjoy better relationships, and feel calmer and more content.”
The benefits sound great, so just how does the average person navigate introspection?
Avoid Confirmation Basis
Confirmation bias is your natural tendency to search for, interpret, and even favor information that confirms or supports your current beliefs without taking into consideration the big picture. This is almost default for most people because we want to be right. I believe it can stem from grandiosity, thinking it is your way or the highway.
Look for ways to challenge your conclusions. Seek information from a range of sources, not just ones that agree with you. This can create an echo chamber where all your biases will be reinforced. Try getting another’s opinion, discuss your thoughts with others. Ultimately, get the bigger picture before you decide.
Look At Your Part In Situations
It's helpful to make a list of your wrongdoing. Either where you were in the wrong or were hurt by someone else. Look at each interaction as subjectively as possible and write it out.
Separate it into parts. The who, the when, and the why. Then take a moment and look your part in all of it. What could have done better or differently, were you being spiteful or judgmental, or are you shifting blame?
Looking at yourself is never easy, even the Ph.D.’s admit that “introspection as it can cloud and confuse our self-perceptions, which can have a host of unintended consequences.”
Stay Calm
Taking a hard look at yourself and your actions can bring up some heavy stuff. Take it slow and easy. The last thing you want is to get all revved up and do something you regret. Anger, disappointment, and feelings of loss may come up. You are taking a hard look at your past and that can be ugly.
Have Support
I would recommend if you want to go all-in have a licensed therapist guide you through the rough times. If that is not an option to make sure you have people you can talk with whom will be nonjudgmental.
The Practice Of Introspection
Take A Daily Inventory
At the end of every day, look over your interactions. Anything you did good, keep doing that. Anything you feel as you need to change, take steps in that direction to change it. Progress is all you’re looking for. If you chase perfection, you will never win.
Other Ways
There are different ways to practice introspection and self-reflection. The best way, however, is to ask yourself questions and record your responses in writing. So, find a comfortable, quiet spot, grab a drink, and sit down with a pen and paper. The questions you ask will depend on you and what you'd like to take from this process.
There are some basics you can start with, though. For example, think about five lessons life has taught you thus far and record each of them. Unless you enjoy writing and want to go deep, keep your response to a sentence or two. At least, as you get started. Once you have your five lessons recorded, it's time to dig in. For each lesson, ask how you learned the lesson, why you learned it, when you learned it, and exactly what you learned. Try to keep this to a paragraph.
This is simply a starting point. Where you take your reflection from here is up to you. However, to get you started I'd like you to think back on what you believe are some of the most defining moments of your life. Choose three to get started. Take each defining moment in turn and get to know more about each.
Think about your experience – what you did, what you were thinking, and how it felt at the time. What were you experiencing at that moment? What was going on inside you at that moment? Once you have done this you can reflect on what you have learned. What does the experience suggest to you and what can you learn from it? You can compare each experience to the values or principles you try to follow in life. Finally, you have to take the lessons you have learned and apply them in practice. How can you deal with future situations? What has reliving this experience taught you about who you were and how has it shaped you as you are now? What would you do differently? What do you intend to do about this based on your period of reflection?