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Power of Compassion Series - How we Lack Self-Compassion



While it might sound “nice” to be more compassionate, being compassionate is one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves and for others, as well. In our busy world, if we had to be honest, we would say we do not have time for “feel-good” things because we are so ingrained in “getting things done.” However, scientific research is highlighting increasingly how it is necessary for society to utilize our inner strengths to create better lives.


If we continue to get caught up in getting things done, checking things off our to-do list, and then adding more to that list, rinse and repeat, we will crash and burn. If we treat ourselves and others as though we are robotic machines constantly needing to crank, we will break down. Being more, doing more, and aiming for absolute perfection is the opposite of having compassion for ourselves, or for others.


How We Lack Self-Compassion


When we continue to push ourselves, not take time to do the things we want, love, and enjoy, or deprive ourselves, we rob ourselves of the joy and beauty of life. Putting on our boxing gloves on and beating ourselves up does nothing to motivate us. It has the opposite effect. It stops us from trying harder or even moving forward.


We are so busy taking care of everything and everyone, we do not take time for the little things. The bigger things beckon and call out to us. How many of us eat at our desks, don’t get up to stretch and take a break, have our faces in our computers, on our cell phones all day long, do not get much, if any, fresh air. Where in your life, do you say “no” to yourself?


Important Questions Lead to Important Insights: How Compassionate are You?

  • Do we take time to get up earlier for exercise or put it off until tomorrow?

  • What about our meals – do we put in the time, energy, and effort to create healthy meals for ourselves or do we just grab-and-go?

  • What about taking time to decompress before bed; are we on our cell phones, watching television or the nightly news, or on our computers too close to bedtime?

  • The way we treat ourselves, would we treat someone who is sick or unable to care for themselves the same way? Probably not.

The Importance of Asking Insightful Questions about Self-Compassion


Why is it important to ask insightful questions about self-compassion? It is vital we ask ourselves questions about how negating self-compassion impacts us. The answers give us insight to what does not work in our lives in this regard:


Where in your life do you negate self-compassion?

  • Where in your life does it show up in your relationships in family?

  • Where in your life does a lack of self-compassion affect romance?

  • How does negating self-compassion work in your career or job?

  • What about in social circles?

None of these habits show any self-compassion. Once you gain this self-awareness through exploring important questions, the insights will now lead and guide you toward more love and compassion for yourself. Another way we show a lack of self-compassion is by getting caught up in comparison energy.

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